personal development

  • Blog, mindset, personal development

    What’s your self sabotage?

    What’s your self sabotage?

    I was running a workshop about this recently and we had a fantastic conversation about what I call our *Success Blocks*.

    The way we put on the brake pedal when we’re doing something that’s taking us out of our comfort zone (and most of the time we don’t even realise it as it’s happening under the radar)

    Some of the most common ones I see coming up with my clients are:

    1. Getting busy on the small stuff and not tackling the things that would really move the needle.

    2. Believing assumptions or excuses (One of my faves was not sending an email because *it wasn’t the right time* which resulted in a 6 fig contract ????)

    3. Self doubt, imposter syndrome, feeling like you’re going to fail.

    4. Playing small or hiding (this is a sneaky one)

    5. Getting stuck in the weeds of the day to day

    6. Fixing things for the team and constantly jumping in.

    7. Starting again – lurching from one idea to the next

    8. Always being available – saying yes when you want to say no and not letting anyone down.

    I could go on… there are loads of ways we inadvertently sabotage our success, but when you start to see them it becomes so much easier to sort out.

    What’s yours?

    Have a great day

    Barbara
    ———

    PS – Ready for that next step?

    – Join the 6 month ELEVATE Coaching programme

    – Book a group coaching session for your senior team

    – Book a workshop for your leaders – topics include (uncovering success blocks, confidence at work; productivity booster; or success habits for leaders)

    Book a call to discuss this further

  • Blog, mindset, personal development

    How to get off the hamster wheel

    Want to know how to get off the hamster wheel?

    Stop

    Resist the thought that it has to be done

    Go do something else

    Take the day off

    Do something that makes you happy

    Learn something new

    Get outside

    De-clutter something

    Hide your phone

    Date your partner or your kids

    Visit a friend

    Go to a nice coffee shop and people watch

    Drive down some country lanes with your favourite music on

    Smile… or even better laugh

    Watch an old black and white film

    Take the dog for a walk in a different place

    Remember what makes you… YOU!

    And while you’re doing that… you’ll get clarity, lightbulb moments, inspiration, ideas… or just peace and happiness like you’ve had a good holiday.

    Either way, it’ll be a day well spent.

     

    Have a fab day

    Barbara

     

    PS – Ready for the next step?

    Join the 6 month coaching programme – ELEVATE

    Book a workshop for your Senior Leadership Team

    Click here to book a call to explore this further

     

  • Blog, confidence, mindset, personal development

    How to speak up in meetings when you’re feeling like an imposter

    *I don’t feel like an imposter anymore*

    Of course you don’t!!!

    When I first met this Exec the first thing he said…

    *I’m tired of feeling like I don’t belong in meetings, and I’ve had enough of staying quiet*

    I get it’

    Staying quiet is EXHAUSTING….

    Because you’re not ACTUALLY staying quiet.

    You’re having a mental battle in your head that goes something like this…

    You: *speak up*

    Also you: *What if I’m wrong?!*

    Also you: *speak now!*

    Also you: *Everyone’ll look at me*

    Also you: *Now… go… go*

    Also you: *You’ve missed it now*

    And then Jim says the thing you were going to say and you kick yourself all the way home.

    But not now…

    Oh sweet sweet release….

    No more *Am I good enough*

    No more mental battle

    Because you KNOW you’re good enough!

    You’re now the one who says what they wanted to say.. and it feels INCREDIBLE!

    And not just that… other things happen too….

    You get asked your opinion more often

    You get invited to *bigger* meetings

    You get more opportunities

    And… YOU FEEL AMAZING!!!

    It’s like you’ve gone up a level in the game… because YOU HAVE!!!

    You’ve ELEVATED

    This is why I LOVE working with execs one to one in my 6 month programme.

    Because we get to talk about this stuff without it looking like a weakness.

    Because you get to see everything from a completely different perspective. Think lightbulb moments and *why didn’t I think of that?*

    Because we sort out the things that have been holding you back. Think old habits, ways of working that just don’t work anymore…

    And because you’ll see the ripple effects happen fast, like a lot more time, more time with your kids / other half, no more working weekends, feeling happier, your team doing well, your business growing…it’s all connected.

    ———

    Hi I’m Barbara and I LOVE seeing business leaders ELEVATE

    Get rid of self doubt, feeling like an imposter and fear of failure
    Get out of the weeds
    Empower your team
    Get the success you want in and out of work

    Book a call to explore jumping into the 6 month coaching programme

  • Blog, leadership, mindset, personal development

    How to actually FEEL like a leader

    *I want to actually FEEL like a leader*

    Someone said this to me the other day.

    I knew exactly what they meant.

    They were sick of:

    Holding themselves back in important meetings

    Looking round the room and comparing themselves to their peers

    Struggling with self doubt, feeling like an imposter and fear of failure, that it’s all going to come crashing down

    And spinning all the plates ????

    You might even find yourself thinking that it’s not right for you and maybe you need to do something else.

    I hear this all the time because even though you’ve worked so hard to get where you are today, and you really deserve it, you can still feel like a little kid thinking *who am I to be here?*

    And then you stay quiet when you want to speak

    Or get nervous when you need to be confident

    Or play small and hold back as its safer

    Or work harder because it’s our natural default.

    And it’s all because we’ve not acclimatised to where we need to be.

    You’re relying on old habits to keep working – but the saying *what got you here isn’t going to get you there* is true.

    You’re trying to control the situation by working harder on the things that aren’t going to move the needle or that others can do.

    And you’re sabotaging yourself under the radar as your subconscious mind is trying to get you back to your comfort zone.

    But when you start to see your actions and thoughts from a different perspective it becomes so much clearer.

    ????????????????

    This is what I do in my 1-1 programme where you’ll learn how to elevate so you feel like the leader you are, take action with confidence and own your seat at the table (on the inside as well as the outside).

    Plus you’ll learn how to:

    Lead yourself
    Get in control of your time
    And empower your team.

    And you’ll not only FEEL different, you’ll show up differently.

    I’ve seen this so many times.

    If you’re a Director, Business Owner, Exec or Senior Leader and you’re ready to unlock your leadership potential book a call for more info on my 6 month 1-1 programme. 

  • Blog, leadership, mindset, personal development, time

    3 things to do before starting another week

    Do these THREE things before diving into another week. Trust me… they’ll make all the difference…

    1) Spend 10 minutes (its just 10 mins) REFLECTING on how things went last week in two columns… positives and improvements (so you don’t just zoom in on the negatives) ????

    2. PLAN – what do you want to achieve this week? Focus on just 1-3 things that will really move the needle and you’ll be dancing round the street if you do.

    3. BOOK – get your diary out and book 30 mins in on Wednesday to see how you’re doing and stay on track.

    If you’re thinking *chance would be a fine thing, have you seen my diary?!* then lets talk ????

    ————

    If you’re a Business Leader and you’re ready to get out of the weeds, side step self doubt and elevate as a leader feel free to book call for more info on how I can help you or your team.

  • Blog, mindset, personal development

    Why feeling like an imposter is actually a great sign

    Why feeling like an imposter is actually a great sign

    *Congratulations you’re feeling like an imposter* is probably not something you hear everyday ????

    But what if I was to tell you it’s not all bad

    Firstly feeling like an imposter doesn’t automatically make you one… but it does feel rubbish and can stop you in your tracks and make you play a much smaller game.

    That said…

    So… what does it mean and why is it actually a great sign??

    It actually means that you’re up-levelling, stretching your comfort zone and doing something new. ????????????

    As my mum used to say *you’ve grown!*

    Fantastic news right??!!!

    And that’s why it’s causing your subconscious mind (SM) to have a mini melt down because it doesn’t know it can keep you safe where you are now.

    It’s trying to be nice…

    Which is why the next step is to ACCLIMATISE at your new level. Make it your new normal.

    This is just who you are now!!

    So today own your seat at the table
    Celebrate where you are
    Be excited about that big meeting
    Be proud of what you’re doing

    And if you’ve really had enough ping me a message and I’ll send you a pdf to help you out.

    —————

    If you’re a Business Leader and you’re ready to take that next step to get out of the weeds, and get the results you really want in (and out) of work click here to book a call

  • Blog, Business, leadership, mindset, personal development

    Why time management tips aren’t actually working for you

    Time management remains one of the most asked for personal development topics, and for good reason.

    Time is our number 1 resource…we can’t get any more of it no matter what we do, and there’s always a lot to fit into a very small 16 hour daily window (assuming we sleep for 8 hours a night that is!)

    But the thing is that time management tips are everywhere. I could list loads right now and you’d probably know them all.

    Things like:

    • Turn the notifications of on your email / phone
    • Use a to-do list (and a done list)
    • Get good at saying no
    • Create buffers in between your meetings
    • Delegate

    See…none of these are rocket science (although all of them do actually work wonders).

    So the real question isn’t ‘how do I manage my time?

    But why aren’t I actually doing the things that will actually help me manage my time?’

    What’s actually stopping you from putting into practice the things that you know would work?

    Over the years I’ve asked a lot of people that question…and more often than not it comes down to your thinking.

    For example:

    ‘I need to keep checking my emails in case something happens’

    ‘I don’t want to let anyone down so I have to work this weekend’

    ‘It’s the nature of the job to work long hours’

    ‘I’m the boss so people have to be able to get hold of me’

    ‘It’s just expected of me’

    ‘If I don’t do it no-one will’

    ‘It’s quicker if I do it myself’

    Any of these familiar?

    We all have thoughts, beliefs and ideas about what we think we should be doing, or how we think we’re expected to show up…but when was the last time you actually challenged your own thinking and asked ‘is this really true?’

    And…if the answer is ‘no’ what could you do instead?

    Chances are a lot of what you’re thinking that’s causing you to work in a certain way is just some out of date thinking or habit that’s no longer true.

    Sure once upon a time it might have been true.

    Or it might have even be true for someone else who had some influence on you at some point (like an old boss) but it might not actually be true for you right now.

    And chances are if you changed that thinking and did something different…nothing bad would actually happen.

    You might even find yourself thinking ‘why didn’t I do this years ago?’

    So, my question is…what are you telling yourself about the way you manage your time that might not be true for you anymore?

    Here’s how:

    1. Look at all the things you don’t like about your day. The things that just serve to sap your time and energy…and make a list.
    2. Now write down why you keep doing them…and see what comes up. If you’re lucky you might have a real A-Ha moment and change them right now. If not, keep going and write down all the reasons why.
    3. Look at each of the reasons and challenge each one…one by one, asking yourself ‘is this really true?’ If it isn’t…it’s time to switch your thinking.

    Give it a go and see what comes up for you.

     

     

    Ready for the next steps?

    Take the Confident Leaders Quiz – and see where you need to focus your attention to get the results you really want – Click here to take the Quiz)

    Listen to the podcast – Smash Your Own Ceiling (click here for apple) (click here for spotify)

  • Blog, confidence, personal development

    I got a whole room to do the power pose…here’s what happened

    Last week I ran an event focused purely on growing your confidence.

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing these as having tools in your back pocket to boost your confidence when you need it most, or improve your mindset in the moment is probably the BEST thing you can have in your personal development tool box.

    There we were, doing our thing, when the topic of the Power Pose came up (if you don’t know what this is watch this TED talk, it’s a good one) and the person was nervous about giving it a try…even on their own.

    You see the benefits of doing a Power Pose are that they discovered a link between doing the power pose, and an increase in testosterone and a decrease in cortisol (which is the stress hormone) and an increased feeling of being powerful.

    So, without even thinking about it I invited the whole room to join me for 2 minutes and stand like wonder woman (hands on hips, head in the air…the whole deal)

    I set the timer on my phone and we were off…and here’s what happened!!

    The first 30 seconds felt like a life time. People were fidgeting. Looking embarrassed struggling to find their place…

    Then all of a sudden the room fell into a quiet state of calm and the energy shifted and everyone just embraced it.

    After the full 2 minutes I asked everyone how they felt and they said ‘Amazing’

    Now, I have no idea whether there were any changes to hormones but in that moment we felt great…and all it took was 2 minutes to stand (30 seconds to feel a bit silly and 1.5 minutes to go with it) and you’ve got something you can use in the moment when you need it.

    It all starts with you!!

  • Business, mindset, personal development, Podcast

    How to get out of the weeds in your business with Gary King

    Welcome to another episode of the podcast.

    This week I’m delighted to share a cuppa that I had with the fantastic Gary King.

    Gary helps business owners to have the freedom to choose where, when and how they work.

    After 25 years in high-growth businesses delivering results at a senior level, Gary knew he could use his skills to help SMEs. A straight-talking, no-nonsense Yorkshireman, he now helps ambitious business owners create the freedom to make choices about their life through a range of online and in-person programmes.

    Having turned around his business and his lifestyle when struggling in the first few years, Gary now runs three successful businesses and it’s his experience he uses to help other entrepreneurs ditch the guilt, start earning what they are worth, and have the ability to make choices about how they spend their time. He creates what many hard-working business owners are missing – the freedom to choose.

    In this episode Gary shares:

    – Why he started his business in the first place

    – How he got stuck in the weeds and how that affected his life

    – What he did to get himself out of the weeds

    – And loads of golden nuggets to help you if you can relate

    Have a listen here

    Gary is also Director & Northern Regional Head for the Association of Business Mentors.

    To get in touch with Gary visit: https://www.tendo-uk.com/https://www.tendo-uk.com/