personal development

  • Blog, confidence, personal development

    5 things to remember if you ever struggle to speak up in a meeting

    5 things to remember if you ever struggle to speak up in a meeting…

    You know that feeling when you’re in a meeting and you want to speak, but almost at the same time your self doubt kicks in and while you’re having a back and forth in your own head, someone else says exactly what you were going to say, everyone loves it, and you spend the rest of the day kicking yourself?

    Sound familiar?

    If so… give these a try…

    1. Know that you’re not alone. So many people talk to me about this so chances are there’s someone else in your very meeting who’s thinking the same.

    2. There are no spare people in the room. You haven’t been invited to make up the numbers or keep a seat warm. You’re there because you’re opinion is valid and needed. You have permission to speak just by being there.

    3. Someone in that room needs to hear what you have to say. There’s no such thing as a wrong opinion, or stupid question. Your voice matters.

    4. Focus on bravery rather than confidence. Your confidence will grow the more times you’re brave.

    5. Act fast. As soon as you feel like speaking do it before you inner critic catches on to what you’re up to and talks you out of it.

    Which is your favourite?

  • Blog, personal development

    Where are you letting *should’s* control your life?

    Years ago I read an article about a CEO who really struggled to get home and have dinner with her family.

    Every evening they planned it and she was late or MIA and everyday it led to dissapointment, rows and guilt.

    She tried and tried but it just didn’t work.

    Then one day she realised that she was letting a *should* control her life.

    A *should* that came from old thinking that dinner *should* be family time.

    It was what her parents did, and their parents before them and now it was her turn.

    But her parents and grandparents had different lives to her, and for them it worked.

    None of them were the CEO of a company for a start!!

    It was time to let go of the *should* and evolve.

    Once she’d decided she had to let it go she had a brainwave.

    Instead of dinner being family time. Why not breakfast?

    Each morning they all sat down and ate together before the day started, and it just worked… for them!

    Evolution in practice!!

    This is the thing… so often I hear people tell me that they feel guilty for doing certain things but when it comes down to it, it’s just an old *should* that has been passed down that is now out of date.

    The way I look at this is… my mum grew up in war torn Poland and had a ration book. She had one for a lot of her childhood… does that mean I need to have one?

    Nope!

    It’s not relevant for my life… and *should’s* or old beliefs are pretty much the same.

    And the best thing is…We get to choose what works for us, and what doesn’t.

    We can let them go and give ourselves permission to evolve.

    What *should’s* have you let go of that have been like a weight off your shoulders?

  • Blog, leadership, personal development

    How often do you check yourself before you wreck yourself?

    How often do you check yourself before you wreck yourself???

    So I was sat in an office working… everyone was happy and busy doing their thing…

    When all of a sudden *the boss* rushed through… and the energy completely shifted.

    It was tense, it got really quiet and any positivity just vanished.

    Whether you realise it or not you have an impact on the people around you…and how you feel and behave is affecting your team… which in turn affects your results and whether they stay or not.

    Remember people don’t leave jobs… they leave their boss… and sometimes a boss doesn’t even realise they’re doing anything wrong. They’re actually just trying to make things work.

    This isn’t about being everyone’s friend, or being jolly all the time… but it does mean really dialling up your Emotional Intelligence.

    Here’s how:

    1. Start again – decide how you’d like to impact your team and focus on that.

    2. Check yourself before you wreck yourself – best advice ever and works in all the places. Keep checking in with how you feel and switch things up when you need to

    3. Lead yourself first – Put things in place as an SOS if you need them for example… a walk round the block, 10 minutes away etc so you can sort yourself out before you impact others.

    If you’re a Director and you need to get out of the weeds so you can grow your business let me know. I have 2 places on my 1-1 programme to start in January. Click here to book a no obligation strategy call

  • Blog, personal development

    7 signs that you’re ready for an up-level

    7 signs that you’re ready for an up-level (that you might have missed)

    1. You feel stuck in the weeds of your business and keep getting dragged into the day to day

    2. You find yourself *fixing things* for your team

    3. Your work life balance is more work than life.

    4. You find yourself *hiding* to get stuff done

    5. You really want some headspace to think or just *be* and focus on the things that will move the needle.

    6. Meetings always seem to be you kicking things off and no one seems as engaged as you want them to be

    7. You wonder if you’re good enough

    Any sound familiar?

    If so, these habits are all keeping you stuck where you are right now, and although they worked up to this point, what got you here isn’t going to get you there. It’s time for an up-level.

  • Blog, personal development

    How to tell if you’re an introvert

    Believe it or not… I’m an introvert.

    Now, that doesn’t mean I’m shy or quiet (I’m not)

    And it doesn’t mean I don’t like going out (I do and will be the life and soul.)

    But…

    It does mean I need time after to regroup.

    Introverts spend their energy on others, so we need time to refuel…on our terms.

    For me this is a dog walk (on my own)
    Hiding out reading a book
    Going for a drive
    Or pottering round the garden

    Doesn’t take long but I need it…

    By creating and carving out this time it means I’ve got the energy and headspace for everyone and everything else.

    It makes me a better person… and I feel so much better too.

    If you can relate and you find yourself running on empty try these tips.

    1. Create buffers in between meetings for you to get your thoughts together

    2. Tell your family you need half an hour when you get home just to come round

    3. Start a habit like taking the dog for a walk or going to the gym so you have that in your diary every week

    4. Create and honour your own boundaries whatever they might be.

    5. Tell everyone what you need… its not a crime (or selfish) to just need some time to yourself.

    Are you an introvert or extrovert?

    What do you do to re-group?

  • Blog, leadership, mindset, personal development

    Where are your assumptions holding you back?

    Where are your assumptions holding you back?

    There’s usually not a day that goes by that I don’t say the word ‘assumption’ to one of my clients.

    The reason being is that if we’re not careful our assumptions can stop us from taking action.

    The thing is this is probably costing you in the long run.

    Like my client who resisted sending an email to a contact because of an assumption that they wouldn’t be interested – That e-mail led to them booking 6 figures worth of work.

    Or my client who wanted a promotion but had made the assumption that they wouldn’t get it…that conversation later turned into their dream promotion.

    Or my client who avoided posting on her social media about her services as she thought she’d look pushy. A week later she was celebrating 2 new clients.

    Or my client who made the assumption that a member of their team didn’t want to develop and then when they asked them it turned out they had big ambitions and were more than ready for that next level.

    Assumptions can come in all shapes and sizes and can be stopping you from getting the results that you really want.

    The trick is to start getting really good at spotting them.

    Here’s how…

    1. Look out for where you’re NOT taking action…is it because of a specific reason?
    2. Ask yourself if the reason is actually true? And how do you really know it’s true? If you need to, talk it through with another person and see what they say.
    3. See what would happen if you took action anyway. If there’s no real risk give it a go, and see what happens without any judgement.

    And finally, today be on the look out…what’s the assumption that’s holding you back right now?

  • Blog, leadership, personal development

    Has your business out grown your leadership style?

    The other day I was hosting an event and this topic came up.

    Trying to continue leading the team, the business and most of all yourself in the way you needed to to get you where you are today… but it just doesn’t fit anymore…. Because the business, and the team have grown.

    Leaving you feeling exhausted
    Feeling like an imposter
    Working all hours with no time for your family
    Resentful of your team
    Stuck in fire-fighting mode

    The thing is that if this is where you are it means what you did worked… now it’s time to adapt.

    1. Check in to look how far you’ve come… we don’t often do this enough but we all need a sense check from time to time.

    2. Create an air pocket for yourself, to give yourself some headspace away from the day to day. This can be as easy as taking a walk before you start work or turning your phone off on a weekend. Leading yourself first is just like the air mask on a plane. The ripple effect from you feeling different is huge.

    3. Ask yourself what’s causing the most frustration…. And with everything on your list ask yourself what am I doing to add to that?

    And if you’re ready for a chat about next steps, book in a strategy call here

  • Blog, leadership, personal development

    One of the biggest benefits to ‘getting out of the weeds’ isn’t what you think…

    One of the biggest benefits to *getting out of the weeds* isn’t actually what you think…

    Yes having more time to think strategically is a gamechanger!!

    And yes I LOVE it when you tell me you have your evenings and weekends back without your phone pinging every 2 munutes.

    But by far the biggest benefit and one that makes a MASSIVE difference to your business is that your team grow too.

    When YOU step back from the day to day you make room for your team to STEP UP.

    They become more empowered (and a lot less frustrated)

    They solve problems, and make decisions where before you would have been involved or they’d have run things past you.

    And that in turn allows their team to grow too.

    A rising tide really does lift all ships

    Leaving you with a lot more time and focus to do all the things that have been burning a hole in your to do list that will take your business to the next level.

    Have a fab day

    Barbara

     

    PS – To join the 1-1 coaching programme click here

     

  • Blog, Business, confidence, leadership, mindset, personal development

    Are you ready to stop making things so hard?

    This is the sentence that I said to a client the other day….

    “Are you ready to stop making things so hard?”

    ​

    I see this all the time, ways that we block our own success without even realising it.

    ​

    • Leaving big projects to the last minute and then having to work late or all weekend.
    • Going to meetings that we don’t really need to, just because we think we should be there
    • Saying yes when we really want to say no (for the millionth time)
    • Reacting rather than hitting the pause button and thinking about what we really want to say
    • Believing our inner imposter, rather than trusting ourselves
    • Getting involved with things that our team are doing when they’re more than capable to crack on
    • Getting busy on the small stuff rather than moving the needle
    • Staying quiet in that meeting, when you’ve got something to say.

    ​

    ​

    This list could go on an on…and I’m sure you know exactly what your favourite flavour of ‘hard’ is for you.

    So today, I’d love to invite you to see things differently.

    What would happen if you chose another way?

    What would happen if you chose easier?

    And what would easier actually look like for you?

    Feel free to hit reply and let me know if you’d like some extra accountability

    ​

    Have a fab weekend

    ​

    Barbara

    ​

    PS – I currently have only ONE space available for my 6 month 1-1 coaching programme – ELEVATE starting in May. This is for you if you’re a business leader and you’re ready to catapult your development.

    I have ONE space available starting in June for my 12 month THINKING PARTNER programme. This is one to one exec coaching where we meet regularly every month to keep you on track so that you achieve your goals as a leader.

    Get on the wait list for the next cohort of Smash Your Own Ceiling – a group programme where you’ll do just that. No more holding yourself back, imposter syndrome, getting in your own way…it’s time to own your space at the table!!

    Or if you’d like me to run a workshop for your leadership team, I only do 2 of these every month and I’m now taking bookings for OCTOBER.

    Click here to book a call for more info

  • Blog, Business, leadership, mindset, personal development

    Don’t make today a repeat of yesterday!

    Don’t make today a repeat of yesterday!!!

    As humans we’re creatures of habit.

    We get up at the same time
    Have the same breakfast
    Take the same route to work
    Do the same walk around the office
    And look at our emails first

    You get the idea

    But if you think that our habits are just actions on repeat…And our actions create our results it might be time to switch things up a bit.

    Plus if you’re feeling a bit… meh, exhausted or you’re describing your day as spinning plates or being stuck on a treadmill… this is also going to make you FEEL so much better.

    Give these a try to get you started ????

    1. Instead of going straight to your inbox, give yourself 60 mins to do the thing on your list that will really move the needle (you know what it is)

    This alone will make you feel like dancing round the street!!! ????????

    2) Take that walk at lunch time and let your brain let out a big sigh of relief.

    3) Turn your team meeting into a hive mind to focus on solving one problem. Get the creative juices flowing and see the energy shift in your team.

    Bonus…. Watch out for that voice in your head telling you that you can’t do something different. Instead ask why not?!

    Inject some change into your day and see what happens.

     

    Have a fab day

    Barbara

    PS – Ready for those next steps?

    Complete the Confident Leaders Assessment

    Join the 1-1 coaching programme