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  • Blog

    5 steps to dealing with overwhelm from your to do list

    You know that feeling when you’ve got far too much to do?

    When you don’t know where to start, and you feel completely and utterly overwhelmed?

    That feeling when you take one look at your to do list and your fight or flight response well and truly kicks in?

    You might get annoyed about the fact there’s too much to do, panic and want to run away, or freeze and feel paralysed not knowing where to start.

    The thing is that even though you might be feeling this way, at some point you need to do something about it.

    So, what’s the answer?

    Check out the following 5 steps…

    Step 1 – Remove what you don’t have to do.

    I guarantee that there’ll be things on your list that if you didn’t do them nothing major would happen – even if you have a feeling that you need to do everything – you don’t! So start here and be brutal. Go down your list and remove anything that you really don’t have to do. These tasks are nice to have’s, a someday task, but certainly not a this day task. You can put these on another list if you want, but get them off your main one.

    Step 2 – See what you can delegate or outsource

    This is something not enough people do. Seriously, you don’t have to do everything – in fact, you shouldn’t do everything!

    Go through your list, and circle any task that has to be done, but just not by you, and delegate or outsource it. Yes, you might want to do it. Yes you might think and feel that it’s quicker if you do it yourself, but in reality it’s not a good use of your time, energy, and brain power, so pass them to someone else.

    Step 3 – Put them in order of importance

    Go through your list and write down when each task needs to be done. Now, what I’m talking about here is when do they actually, really have to be done. Not when you’d like to have them done by so they’re no longer on your list.

    Step 4 – Put them in order of deadline

    Re-write your list into a much cleaner version (with steps 1 and 2 taken off) and with all the important tasks in order of deadline.

    Step 5 – Get started on task #1

    Focus on the first task first, and don’t stop until it’s finished. You’ll feel much better once something is crossed off your list.

    BONUS – If you need to, shut yourself off so you can focus on these tasks. This might mean closing your office door for a while. It might mean re-locating to a quiet room or it might mean turning off your phone for a while. If you need to, communicate to your team or the people around you what you’re doing, and get cracking.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts on dealing with overwhelm, feel free to leave a comment or share with someone who might need to hear this too.

  • Blog, videos and podcasts

    Lessons from Leaders – Danielle Brown

    In this episode of Lessons from Leaders I chat with Danielle Brown, keynote speaker, who helps people unlock their potential, break through barriers and achieve more. She has a background in elite sports and teaches people to develop a performance mindset. She was a world number one paralympic athlete and was in the top ten of the able-bodied category. Danielle won gold at the 2008 Bejing paralympic games and again in London 2012.

    This conversation is FULL of tips!! We talk about mindset; small incremental steps, and so much more!!

    Watch my conversation with Danielle here

    You can contact Danielle at daniellebrown.co.uk, LinkedIn and on Instagram.

    Danielle’s book choice is “…and death came third!” by Andy Lopata and Peter Roper – available at https://amzn.to/2z1wdyZ

    She has co-written a book “Be your best Self: Life Skills for Unstoppable Kids” with Nathan Kai – available in September 2019 at https://amzn.to/2Tvalp9

    I’d love to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave a comment.

  • Blog

    The 3 missing pieces that are stopping your success

    This week I started running again.

    I say again, because I’ve had an on/off relationship with running for many years.

    Every year I decide I’m going to run, and every year I start with the best intentions, and every year I stop!

    Here’s the process that I go through:

    • I download an app (usually the same one)
    • I dig out my training gear and my fave trainers
    • I tell everyone who will listen
    • I usually drag someone with me (last year it was my poor son…he was studying for his A-Levels…’it’ll do you good’…I told him over and over again!)
    • I get started
    • And then…at some point I stop.

     

    I have to say that last year was quite good as I kept going for about 9 weeks before I stopped, and if you were to ask me why, I could easily reel off a list of viable excuses like…”it was the Beast from the East” (this did have some impact to be honest), or “I really needed new trainers”..but in reality, if I’m totally honest and vulnerable here it’s because of 3 things:

    #1 I didn’t cement my goal

    #2 I didn’t work on my mindset at the same time

    #3 I didn’t embed the habit

     

    Admitting this is a bit tricky for me, especially writing this down so publicly, as these are the exact things that I spend a lot of my working life talking about as they are all crucial in change in my opinion…but hey ho…here we are.

    So, let’s talk about how I could have done this differently.

    #1 Cementing the goal

    This is so important, as it’s the destination that you’re putting into your GPS.

    You don’t get into your car and type in….”erm…I think I want to go here, but maybe I don’t want to go as far, or maybe I’ll go further, let’s just see how we get on.”

    Do you?

    You type in an actual destination.

    The goal.

    The place where you want to end up.

    By being really really clear on your final destination it’ll make getting there easier.

    You’ll be able to create a route or a plan of action, and more importantly you’ll be able to visualise being there.

    Again, so important.

    Don’t underestimate the power of visualisation. Yes it might seem a bit woo woo but in actual fact your brain doesn’t realise that it’s not true…and it feels like it’s already achieved the goal.

    Picture yourself doing it.

    Imagine how it would feel before during and after and live the moment in your head.

    There’s a reason why athletes visualise their game before they start…because it works and it helps with #2.

    #2 Working on your mindset.

    This is VITAL for your success!

    You have to believe that you can do it, otherwise you just won’t be able to.

    Now this sounds really simple, but this bit is easier if you really cement your goal and are able to visualise it.

    You also need to be really aware that there will come a time when your brain will trick you into believing all kinds of rubbish like…

    ‘You can’t really do this’

    ‘There’s no point trying’

    ‘You’ll never be able to do it’

    ‘You haven’t got time’

    ‘You tried your best but…’

    ‘You’re too (old, young, broke, tired, time poor etc)

    ‘You’ll do it when (the kids are older, you have more time, the weathers better etc)

    and the scary bit is that you’ll believe it, so when this happens you have to do 2 things.

    Call yourself out on your nonsense...just as if your most negative relative (yep we’ve all got one) was saying this to you face to face..

    AND…

    # 3 Embed your habit

    Embedding your habit is the missing piece in the puzzle. I have to say I’m a massive fan of habits, they’re our brains way of putting us on auto pilot – so we can do things whilst zoning out and thinking about something else.

    However it takes time to create a habit – but once you do, it’ll feel like the most natural thing in the world to keep doing. Your whole being will be …‘come on, let’s go for a run!‘ It’s like brushing your teeth…chances are you don’t need reminding to do that every day.

    There are loads of differing opinions on how long it takes to create a habit. From 21 days to 60 days and everything in between. In my humble opinion it takes as long as it takes, depending on what the habit is and you as a person.

    So you just have to keep doing it, until it becomes second nature. A case of short term pain for long term gain.

    There are a few things you can do to keep yourself on track…here are a couple I personally use.

    Reminders in my phone – For any new habit I literally set an alarm in my phone to go off to tell me to do it. Watch out for when you see the reminder and just switch it off and go back to watching telly. The rule here is that when it goes off, you have to go do it, otherwise it’s pointless!

    What I call ‘The Reverse Advent Calendar’ – This is a bit random, and so simple it’s ridiculous, but works every single time for me. Here’s how –  I get an A4 bit of paper and draw loads of squares on it for the number of times I want to do something. So let’s say I want to do something once a week for a year, I draw 52 boxes on the paper. Then I stick it somewhere I can see it every day. Then every day when I do that thing, I colour in one of the boxes. Like I said, this is so simple but works wonders because I never want to leave a box blank…It’s kind of a competition with myself.

    An accountability partner – Get someone who has the same goal as you and hold each other accountable. This is great, as you’ll be able to motivate each other as you go and help each other out.

     

    JOIN THE 5 DAY MINDSET CHALLENGE – 14-18 JAN CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

     

     

     

     

  • Blog

    How to stop FEAR from getting in your way

    Fear! We’ve all felt it at some point in our lives…whether you’re afraid of spiders, snakes or heights, we can probably all identify with the feeling of our heart pumping faster, our palms getting sweaty, and maybe even physically shaking a little and just how uncomfortable this can be.

    For the most part, fear has a purpose, to keep us safe…but the problem comes when fear steps in where it’s not really wanted, and starts to stop us from doing things that will stretch us and be good for our growth and development.

    Things like…

    When you avoid doing things you might secretly wish you could do like public speaking, doing a presentation, or speaking up confidently in a meeting.

    When you don’t take that next step like going for a brand new job, or promotion, or speaking to your boss about a raise.

    Or when you actively resist things like learning something new, or going to networking events and meeting new people.

    In fact there are loads of things that fear can stop us from us from growing…but what can we do about it?

     

    1. Know why it’s happening

    It really helps to know that your brain’s primary role is to keep you safe…makes sense when you think of it, doesn’t?!  When you’re firmly in your comfort zone it knows that you’re safe and OK – so it likes to keep you there. Now, although this seems lovely, the problem comes when you start to stretch and bump up to the sides of your comfort zone as your brain now doesn’t know that it can keep you safe. So what does it do? It sends you all kinds of messages to convince you to go back into your comfort zone and stay there.

    Now, these messages are different for different people…as your brain knows exactly what will trigger you…but here are some examples to look out for:

    • Feeling afraid
    • Negative self talk – ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I’m too old, young, inexperienced, etc’
    • Comparing yourself to others
    • Self sabotage – Being too busy, not feeling well etc
    • An old memory of when you tried and failed

     

    So when these come along, know that it’s just a natural reaction to stretching and see it as a sign that you’re heading in the right direction.

    Which brings me onto #2

    1. It’s a sign that you’re growing

    Our natural reaction to feeling afraid is to stop it from happening as it doesn’t feel nice. But instead, use it as a positive marker that you’re actually growing and expanding your comfort zone.

    Take some good deep breaths and just observe how you feel rather than resisting it and you’ll probably find that it’s not as unpleasant as you thought.

    1. It’s just ‘fight or flight’ kicking in

    Fight or flight is our natural response to danger…the best way to describe this is to imagine being a caveman…and you’re walking along and you come across a big dangerous animal…you then have to decide whether you’re  going to fight it, or run away. Your body would then be flooded with hormones to enable us to do just that.

    Now, even though we’re in the 21stcentury we still get these fight or flight reponses and most of the time it’s as a result of something that’s not dangerous at all.

    A great way to get around this is to acknowledge what’s happening and breathe deeply and tell yourself that you’re perfectly safe.

    1. Treat your development as an experiment

    Whatever you’re about to do that’s stretching you doesn’t have to seem like a succeed or fail situation. Instead it can just be an experiment. In fact, treating it like an experiment is a great way of taking the pressure off yourself and just seeing how it goes. You can also keep a journal of your development experiment and test and measure as you go on.

    1. Create a positive mantra for yourself

    Positive mantra’s or affirmations are a great way of recording over the old negative self talk that you might have cropping up. For example, when you find yourself thinking…’I’m not good enough’ or ‘I wish I could do that, but I’ll never be able to’ time to press play on your positive mantra like ‘This could be fun’ or ‘I’m excited to give this a go and see what happens.’

    1. Celebrate your success

    It’s easy to fall into the trap of only noticing the negatives, and being really critical of yourself – so intead have a go at making a point of celebrating all of your successes no matter how small, and make a note of them. It’ll make you feel great and give you something you can look back on later.

    1. Re-frame the emotion

    The feeling of fear is exactly the same as feeling excited…so have a go at telling yourself that you’re excited and see how that works for you.

    I’d love to learn your thoughts about how you handle fear so please feel free to leave a comment.

    Click here to get your copy of the 7 Ways You’re Blocking Your Own Success Workbook

     

  • Blog, time

    How to stop taking on other people’s stuff and start saying no

    This week I spent a couple of days in London at a conference, and whilst I was there I got chatting to a lovely lady who said to me:

    ‘My biggest problem is I can’t say no and I take on far too much!’

    In that moment, 2 people who were next to us (we were in the queue for a cuppa) said:

    ‘Yeah, that’s me too!’

    Can you relate?

    I really could!!

    I was that person!

    I used to have a HUGE problem saying no and taking too much on.

    So that’s what we’re talking about today…watch the video here

    You see when I was a kid I was told to help people – because my mum was a ‘helper’. She’d always be rushing round doing things for other people under the banner of ‘being helpful’ and so naturally I did the same.

    This carried on through the first part of my career and I remember my to do list being a mile and a half long because of this.

    Then one day I had a light bulb moment when I thought…

    ‘What about me?’

    And I realised that whilst I was taking on too much I was neglecting myself…and sooner or later I was going to suffer.

    So I completely switched my mindset about saying no, and what ‘being helpful’ now meant to me.

    Here’s what I did:

    1. I wrote a list with 2 columns. Column 1 was – Need to do (this included, work things, and things at home that had to happen) and column 2 was Want to Do – these included hobbies, spending time with family, friends, personal aspirations and goals.

    2) I then put a tick next to all the things that I didn’t have time to do (no prizes for guessing that there were a lot of ticks on that list, and yes they were all in the want to do column! – Another big wake up call!

    3) I changed my criteria for what was now going to be a Yes. This was – If it fit into one of the columns eg I needed to do it, or I wanted to do it – it was a yes. If not, it was a no. (Word of warning here – sometimes my brain would try and convince me that I needed to do it – this was just my old habit talking…so if this happens to you, challenge your own thinking and ask yourself why?!

    4) I practiced saying no. Now, this was actually the hardest part, and it really triggered me at first. I’d get this feeling that I should say yes, after all if I didn’t do it, who would? and so on.

    But I kept at it and found a way that suited me. ‘Sorry, I can’t help with that.‘ worked wonders…you can add on a reason if you want at the end, but often that was enough.

    And here’s what I discovered.

    • No-one thought any less of me. No-one. They just said – ‘OK’ and carried on with their lives.
    • I got more done – and I mean A-LOT more done!
    • And…I had more headspace and was less stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated – because I realised that most of the things that I was saying YES to, I didn’t actually want to do in the first place.

    So, over to you…

    I’d love to know – what’s your biggest problem when it comes to saying no?

    Let me know by leaving a comment

  • Blog

    4 steps to beating procrastination

    Does this sound familiar?

    You’ve got an important task to complete – a report; assignment; a project to work on (you can fill in your own blank here) and even though you really need to do it; and even though your deadline is inching ever closer; instead of starting you do something else?

    I’m willing to bet that it does…

    Procrastination (otherwise known as the thief of time) can hit the best of us, and can cause all sorts of problems…from the obvious of just being a time waster; to missing deadlines; to not producing our best work; or even to cause an increase of stress as we pull all nighters and work ourselves to the bone!

    The thing is – procrastinating once in a while is not really a bad thing. It can give our brain a rest and help us to think problems through. However, if this is getting to be more often than not, it’s time to do something about it.

    So – here are some helpful tips to give a try.

    1. Decide how procrastination feels for you

    How does it feel when you’re procrastinating? Guilty? Mischievous? Like you’re multi-tasking and doing something useful?

    Whatever it is for you, nail down that feeling, as you’ll be able to use that to identify when you’ve started procrastinating. For example – if you look at your to do list and notice the task that you really should be working on, but you say to yourself – I’ll just clear my inbox first and then I’ll get started – chances are you’re procrastinating and all you’re doing is convincing yourself that you’re doing something worthwhile – but you’ll still get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’re wasting time….look out for it!

    1. Pin down how you prefer to procrastinate

    Once you start to recognise how it feels, the next step is to notice what your go to procrastinating tasks are. Is it…Facebook (or social media in general) e-mails; general admin; an easy task on your list; household tasks like ironing; cleaning; cooking; or mindlessly going through things on your phone?

    Whatever your particular flavour of procrastination is – pin point it, as you’ll be able to spot when you’re doing it much quicker.

    1. Decide why you’re procrastinating

    One of the best ways to beat procrastination is to decide why we’re doing it. It might be because the task that you need to do just doesn’t appeal (think back to revising for exams)

    It might be too big and overwhelming or you might need more thinking time.

    Whatever it is for you, once you’ve decided your reason you can start to do something about it.

    For example – you might want to work in chunks of time like 10 minutes and give yourself regular breaks (as in the pomodoro technique)

    You might want to break down your big huge task into smaller more achievable goals

    Or you might want to do some brainstorming to get yourself into the mindset before you start.

    1. Give your procrastination a time limit

    Instead of going completely cold turkey and trying to cut out procrastination altogether, have a go at giving yourself a time limit. Let’s say 10 minutes…set your alarm on your phone, and dive into Facebook – but when the alarm goes off – that’s it…funs over.

    By doing this, you’re giving yourself a bit of a breather and thinking time when you need it, without it getting completely out of hand.

    Whatever your try, self awareness is the first step to beating anything so once you’ve started noticing your behaviour you’ll be on the right track to combating it for good.

    I’d love to hear about your tips for dealing with procrastination – let me know by leaving a comment.

     

  • Blog

    How to say no when you’re a people pleaser

    This week I’m answering the question:

    ‘Hi Barbara – Can you give me some tips on how to say no without feeling guilty. The problem is that I’m a people pleaser, and I feel like it’s engrained in me to help, but this leads to me taking too much on, and feeling overwhelmed.

    This is such a great question as it’s a really common problem.

    Saying no can be an extremely tricky thing to do especially when you’re hardwired to be helpful and be there for others. In fact, just the thought of saying no can bring out incredible feelings of guilt, like you’re letting someone down or you’re not being a good person.

    But here’s the thing…saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a person that’s clear on what they want, and a good custodian of their own time and energy.

    So how do you feel comfortable saying no, whilst still striking that balance between feeling helpful but also not taking on absolutely everything.

    Here are some tips to get you started:

    1. Get really clear on what you want to achieve in the next 30 days

    By being really clear on what your goals are for the next month, if something comes up that doesn’t fit with these, or stops you from achieving them it’s an easy no.

    By doing this you can not only justify your decision to the person who’s asked, but also to yourself.

    2. Practice saying no

    Saying the word ‘no’ can feel like a really hard thing to do – considering it’s such a small word it doesn’t always roll off the tongue. But the thing here is that it’s just a muscle like anything else and by practicing it, it will get better.

    3. Think clearly about it

    One of the reasons why saying no is so tricky is all the additional pressure you’ve put on that one small word. For example – saying no might mean:

    • You’re not helpful
    • You’re not doing your job properly
    • You’re not there for other people
    • You’re not a team player
    • You’re a bad person
    • You’re not working as hard as other people
    • You’ve not got a can do attitude
    • The other person will think that….[fill in the gap here]

    (and so on…..)

    But the thing is…in reality it doesn’t mean any of those things.

    So, rather than focus on what you think it means…focus on what it does actually mean.

    • You’ve got a lot on at the moment
    • You’re not the best person to help
    • It’s not a good use of your time
    • Someone else might be able to do it better
    • You could coach them how to do it so they can do it next time
    • There might be someone who would love the opportunity
    • You’re already fully committed and have no free time

     

    Focus on the actual reason why you’re saying no, and not the mythical reason why you’re saying yes, and it’ll soon start to feel much better.

    4. Chances are no-one will care

    A while back I worked on saying no with a client of mine. After a while I got an email saying – ‘you know what Barbara? No one really cared!’

    And there is the truth.

    The only person feeling rubbish is you.

    Think of when someone’s said no to helping you…were you that bothered? You probably just accepted that they were busy and went and asked someone else.

    Chances are that the same thing is going to happen, and if they really need you to help then they’ll explain this to you and you can have a chat about it.

    Either way, it won’t be as bad as you think.

    5. Decide how you feel when you’ve taken on too much

    Take a look at the effects of taking too much on. How does it impact you and your life? How does it make you feel? Scribble this down on a note pad and see whether the feeling of saying no is worse or better than the effects of saying yes too often.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts on saying no – and what’s worked for you. Let me know in the comments.

  • Blog, time

    8 Time Management Skills You Really Need

    Is this you?

    You feel like you have too much to do, and not enough time?

    You feel like you’re juggling far too many balls, and spinning plates desperately trying to keep everything from toppling over?

    You feel exhausted at the end of your work day, even though you didn’t achieve everything that you wanted to, and your to do list is just as long as when you started?

    If you’re saying YES! Don’t worry – you’re definitely not alone.

    Here in the 21st Century we might have all the gadgets and gizmo’s designed to help us be more streamlined and productive, but we also all like to squeeze as much as we can out of day which means we really could do with some handy time management skills under our belt to help us out.

    Working like this may seem great to begin with, but doing it for any length of time is a bit like having all your apps open on your phone. Yes it might be super handy, but after a while it will start to run slow and so will you. Leaving you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and if you’re not careful…burnt out.

    So how do we have our cake and eat it?

    I’m a massive believer in that with the right mindset, and some fantastic time management skills in your back pocket, you’ll soon start to feel more in control of your day. So give these 8 tips a try.

    Be fussy with your list

    To-do lists are a fantastic time management tool. However, only if they’re used properly (we’ll come onto that in a moment) and one of the traps that I see people falling into over and over again is the fact that everything makes it onto their list.

    Yes you might need to remember to call Jack, or send an email to Fred or even to book a dentist appointment but it doesn’t all have to go on your list – as when things are on your list there’s a massive temptation to get them done just so you can feel the sense of achievement of crossing them off. But by doing that you’re not spending time on things that really require your attention.

    Instead have a separate note pad for little things and dedicate some time for those quick tasks at a certain point in your day, and only put things on your list that add real value for you – and focus on those.

    Delegate / outsource your time

    Your time is valuable so do a quick audit and see what keeps taking up your time that you could actually delegate to a member of your team, or outsource to someone who can do that task much quicker. If delegating or outsourcing is a sticking point for you and you find yourself thinking ‘But it’s quicker if I do it myself’ it’s time for a bit of a re-think.

    Yes it might well be quicker, but you’ll always be doing it.

    This is a classic case of short term pain for long term gain, and will absolutely free up your time going forward.

    Guard your time – say no

    If you find yourself saying ‘Yes’ more than you say ‘No’ and taking on more work,  this is the time management skill for you. Saying ‘no’ can be a problem for so many people as it might trigger feelings of guilt that you should be helping someone. However, it’s a muscle like any other and gets a lot easier with practice.

    The best way to get around any feelings of guilt is by getting really clear on what you want to achieve in the next day, week or month (use whatever timescale works best for you) and when you get asked to do something, if it doesn’t help you achieve your goals, (or you don’t want to do it) the answer is a no.

    The problem with saying yes when you really don’t want to do something, or you’ve already got enough on your plate is that it’s adding extra pressure on yourself, and you’re just not going to do a good job. Or worse still you’ll end up letting someone down. Best to be upfront before you get into that situation.

    Make your to-do list work for you

    As I mentioned to-do lists are a fantastic way of managing your time but only if they’re used as a tool and not as a dumping ground.

    So how do you get them working for you, and not against you?

    The best way is to discipline yourself and make sure that you’re not setting yourself up to fail every day as most of us do just that.  We have a to do list with a  million and one things on it that we promise ourselves we’re going to get done. When in reality it just isn’t going to happen. Not because we don’t work hard enough – but because there are not enough hours in the day.

    So decide how much time each task is going to take you – then set the alarm on your phone. You’ll find that when the alarm goes off you’ll either be so engrossed in what you’re doing that you’ll finish anyway, or you’ll have finished long before.

    Either way this little trick works a treat – and if you find someone interrupts you when you’re in the flow just pause your timer, deal with the interruption, and start it up again.

    By doing this you’ll really improve your focus as you’ll only be working on one thing at once rather than switching around.

    Allow time for interruptions

    Interruptions happen. They just do – it’s a fact of life. There’ll always be e-mails pinging; phones ringing and people queuing up at your desk – it’s just the way it is. But instead of resenting the time that they suck from you, switch your mind-set. They just are…so allow the time for them.

    Let me ask you a question…how much time do interruptions take in your day – and be realistic here….1 hour? 2?

    Let’s stick with 2 – so account for that in your day when you’re planning what you need to get done. Let’s say you work 8 hours a day. With 2 hours of interruptions only 6 of those can be used for focus tasks.

    That way you’re not setting yourself up to fail, and you won’t resent the interruptions nearly as much because they’re a planned part of your working day.

    Follow the “One Big Thing” Rule

    This rule changed my world and really boosted my time. It’s so simple but sooo effective and it works an absolute treat.

    Instead of trying to get loads of different things done every single day, and flitting from one thing to the next at the risk of not really doing anything effectively, pick one big thing from your list and work on that.

    Just that and nothing else.

    Yes interruptions may come – so deal with them as you normally would, but then go back to your one big thing.

    Here’s how it works. You pick the one big thing that has been sat on your to do list. You might have been putting it off, but you know it’ll add a lot of value and really needs your attention…and PLUS you’ll feel amazing when you get it done.

    When you get in the habit of following the one big thing rule your productivity will shoot up and you’ll never feel as though you haven’t accomplished anything again.

    It’s a game changer!

    Set boundaries – stick to them!

    Rules; boundaries; rituals whatever you want to call them we all have things that help us work at our best.

    It might mean always getting some fresh air; leaving your desk for lunch; going for a run before you start work; or clocking off at a certain time, whatever it is for you spend some time having a think about what helps you to be super productive, energised and motivated and build these into your day no matter how small they might seem.

    By doing them every single day you’ll soon wonder why you didn’t do it sooner!

    Learn to disconnect

    Now here’s the hard bit – in order to be really effective at managing your time you also have to get good at switching off.

    I know, I know…it’ll be like cutting your arm off, but here’s the thing. Your brain needs a break too – that’s when it gets all of its admin done – so you need to give it some time to do just that.

    Give it a go…switch off your phone or just put it away, and do something else instead. Take part in a hobby, spend some time with your family or just chill in front of the TV. By allowing yourself time to switch off, relax and have fun you’ll soon start to feel like your work life balance is back in sync, and everything else will feel better too.

     

    So these are 8 time management skills that will really make a difference to your day. If you’d like to learn more about how to manage your day, and learn the skills that will not only help you to be more effective at work, but that will impact all areas of your life, so you never feel like you’re treading water or racing the clock again – join us on the Time Mastery – Time Management Course.

  • Blog, mindset

    5 signs that you’re holding yourself back

    This week I’m answering this question:

    “Everything’s going great at the moment, but I always get the feeling that I’m holding myself back in some way…can you help?”

    This is a common question, and it really doesn’t matter where you are on your leadership journey I can pretty much guarantee that we’ve all done this at some point or another.

    The thing is that our brain loves to keep us in our comfort zone. Now although you might think this is a pretty rubbish thing for it to do, it does have great intentions.The reason being is that when we’re in our comfort zone it knows that we’re safe – and after all that’s its primary objective to keep us alive. Now the problem comes that when we start to push the boundaries of our comfort zone it might start to try and nudge us back in and it can do that in so many different ways. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try and stretch, but it does mean that we need to recognise when we start to hold ourselves back so that it doesn’t stop us from progressing.

    So, here are 5 signs that you’re holding yourself back…

    1. We hide behind being busy

    Being busy is a common problem, but it can also be a really good hiding place to stop you from doing anything outside of your comfort zone. You might say or think things like ‘Oh I’d love to do that but I’ve no time.’ ‘I’ve got loads on at the minute’ ‘I’ll do it when this [project finishes; or things calm down a bit]’

    If this is you: Have a think about whether you’re using being busy as a hiding place, or whether you genuinely are too busy at the moment, and be honest with yourself. If it’s the former, it’s time to look at how you can make space for new opportunities.

    2. You have an excuse

    We can all come with excuses why we don’t want to do something, but are you coming up with an excuse to stop yourself from having a go at something new? For example – do you say things like…I’ll do it tomorrow; I’m too busy right now; I’m too [fill in the gap here eg – old, young, inexperienced, not been here long enough; not got the right or enough qualifications etc]

    If this is you: Next time you hear yourself saying one of your excuses question whether it’s actually the case, or whether it’s just a myth? Do you really need a degree to do whatever it is? Are you really too young or too old? and so on.. chances are it’s not a valid reason to not have a go.

    3. We get annoyed with ourselves later

    Have you ever had the opportunity to do something, and you’ve said no and then kicked yourself later? If so, this is a clear sign that you’re holding yourself back.

    If this is you: Tune in to how you’re feeling at the time and take a moment to listen to yourself. Ask yourself do you just need to have a go? Or do you need more information? Or are you going to regret it if you don’t have a go?

    4. You push other people and not yourself

    You tell yourself that you want to give other people around you the opportunity instead – and it’s good for them to have a go, rather than you. You’re very good at side stepping opportunities so your team, friends, peers etc can do it instead.

    If this is you: Ask yourself whether you’re doing it for the right reasons. Are you genuinely wanting to develop other people? Or are you really passing it over because you’re not ready? If it’s the latter it might be time to take the leap too.

    5. You feel the fear

    Fear is a really common way that our brain uses to hold us back, and it works because it feels so rubbish that it’s not surprising we run for the hills when we feel it.

    If this is you: Have a go at recognising that all that’s happening is you’re stretching your comfort zone and that you’re not really in any danger. It also helps to know that this fear is only temporary and that pretty soon whatever you’re doing will become normal and no longer scary.

     

    So I’d love to know your thoughts and experiences on holding yourself back let me know by leaving a comment.

  • Blog, mindset

    9 ways to give your confidence a much needed boost

    This week I’m answering a question about confidence…

    “I feel as though I my confidence has gone – any ideas how I can get it back?”

    The thing is that we all have lapses in confidence as we go a long. The way I visualise it is that confidence is like a big jug of water. Sometimes it feels like it’s over flowing, sometimes it’s nearly empty and sometimes it’s somewhere in between – but no matter where it is you can always fill it up – it doesn’t have to be gone forever.

    Just knowing this really does help, because when we feel like our confidence has gone our gut reaction is to mourn this loss and worry about how we’ll be able to manage without it. But here’s the thing. You really don’t have to. There are ways to give your confidence a much boost.

    Decide what area of your life you’d like more confidence in.

    Your gut reaction here might be to say – all of it. But if you really drill it down there’s bound to be one area that you’d choose over the others. Choosing one to focus on will really help you to stop feeling overwhelmed as you try to tackle everything all at once.

    Once you’ve chosen try and be specific. Why do you feel you need more confidence? Is there something that’s currently going wrong or is it a feeling you’re getting? Decide what does success look like for you and scribble this down.

    Make it an experiment to take the pressure off

    By making this process an experiment it really does take the pressure off as all of a sudden there is no failure only learning. Keep a log of what you do and the results that you get, remembering to keep tweaking as you go (just as you would if it was a scientific experiment) rather than giving up if something didn’t turn out as you’d hoped.

    Accept that fear may not just disappear

    Everyone is different, and for you the fear or lack of confidence may not disappear immediately or over night, and it might take a bit of time, but this shouldn’t be a reason to give up. Your fear is just a feeling that’s all, and it may help to make friends with it and explain that you realise it’s there for a reason but you have to plough on anyway. Simply visualising your fear may help in itself and don’t forget to take some good deep breaths as you go.

    Decide what you’re going to do differently

    Start small and pick something that you’re going to do slightly differently or that you’re going to do more of and look for opportunities to do just that. For example – you may want more confidence when speaking to groups so look for opportunities to speak in front of people.

    Look at areas of your life where you’re really confident

    Yes you might think that you need to boost your confidence in all aspects of your life, but chances are that there’s one part where you’re rocking it. It doesn’t matter where this is – you might be really confident in a hobby, with your family, or even feel amazingly confident when you’re out doing something you love. Whatever it is write down how this feels and lock it in. This is the feeling that you’re aiming for (and you need to remember) when you’re working on building your confidence somewhere else.

    Get some feedback

    Sometimes we might not think we come across as confident, but other people aren’t picking up on a that at all. So, get some feedback. Ask your friends, peers, and team how you come across in specific situations and see what they say. You may be pleasantly surprised.

    Go looking for praise

    We all need a bit of reassurance from time to time. If you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone ask people for feedback after the event and ask them to tell you what you did well. I know it might seem self indulgent but here’s the thing – if you know what you did well, you can do more of that – plus it feels great to get some praise which really will help your confidence levels.

     Visualise the end result

    Rather than picturing what you think is going to go wrong, or what you’ve done badly in the past stay focused on how amazing the end result is going to be.  This will trick your brain into thinking you’re a lot more confident before you start.

     Go easy on yourself

    We all have lapses in confidence from time to time so go easy and forgive yourself. This doesn’t mean that you ‘don’t have confidence’ so don’t describe yourself in this way. Instead describe yourself as someone who is confident and more than capable to do something because you really can.

     BONUS TIP – Keep practicing

    It’s so easy to give up on something because it was tough or you really felt the fear. But keep at it – because every small step is a step in the right direction.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts – let me know by leaving a comment.