Month: October 2015

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    How to stop zoning in on the negatives

    The other day I was reminded of something that happened about twelve years ago when my eldest daughter was about seven. Her class at school were raising money for charity and had decided to do a sponsored spell of a hundred words. No mean feat for a child of that age.

    The day came and at the end of the school day my little girl ran out of the school gates excited to tell me that they’d had their spelling test and she’d got ninety-nine right. Fantastic…but you can guess what’s coming next…

    I said “That’s amazing. Which one did you get wrong?”

    Ninety-nine right and I zoomed straight in on the one she got wrong?! What was all that about?

    Not my best parenting moment – but something that happens all the time at work. How often have you ignored the many things that go right and are done well to focus on that one mistake?

    Yes there’s the argument that says that we want everything to be right, that there are standards to uphold – but it’s also a great motivator to celebrate success and see what’s going well.

    So how do we make the switch?

    1. Spend some time each day looking for the positives

    For some reason we seem to be hardwired to look for that one blip, and that one mistake. Instead try to (as Ken Blanchard says) ‘catch someone doing something right’ and look for the positives. What’s going well and where someone’s really gone that extra mile.

    2. Praise

    Everyone loves to be told when they’re doing a great job. It’s a great motivator and re-enforces the behaviour that you want. So, don’t wait – instead praise as soon as you can after the event.

    3. Communicate the positives

    It’s easy to focus on the missed targets, and the drop in sales when briefing your teams. Hearing messages like this day in day out can soon lead to an attitude of ‘what’s the point?’ so communicate the great stuff too, and celebrate success.

    Bonus Book Worm Tip: – Whale Done by Ken Blanchard is a great read if you want to learn more.

    I’d love to hear your ideas and experiences of where you’ve motivated your team and switched from focusing on the negatives to focusing on the positives. Let me know by leaving a comment.

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    5 ways to combat that feeling of self doubt

    Ever had that feeling of doubt that just pops into your mind when you need to think most clearly?

    Or that niggly voice that keeps whispering that you’re not good enough, or that you really don’t know what your doing?

    Ever felt that getting to where you are today was a total fluke and that you’re really not sure how it happened at all – even though you can talk through your entire journey?

    If so, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve probably all been there at some point or another and although it might not be something that we openly talk about in public it’s definitely happening behind the scenes.

    Even Maya Angelou said – “I have written eleven books, but each time I think,
    ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’

     

    So what do you do if you’re feeling self doubt?

    1. Keep a diary

    It’s easy to forget all the great stuff that you do, especially if you’re in the habit of finishing one thing and just going onto the next – so have a go at keeping a diary. It’s a great way to reflect on all the things that you did great and what went well in a particular project or activity. It’s also a nice way of blowing your own trumpet – especially if blowing your own trumpet doesn’t come naturally to you.

     2. Try not to compare yourself to others

    This is often easier said than done especially in todays world of social media. It’s not hard to get caught up in thinking that everyone else is doing better than you. Unfortunately this is a habit that needs practice to break, but one of the best ways to do this is to genuinely wish others well, and go back to focus on what you’re doing. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes anyway, and comparing yourself to them is doing no-one any favours. So keep working on your own journey.

     3. Surround yourself with cheerleaders

    The people you hang around with are so important, so make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people. The cheerleaders of the world. The people who really do want to see you succeed and do well. Yes we all have friends (or family) that are negative so don’t cut them out completely, just don’t see them when you need a pep talk.

    4. Get some me time

    Time for you is so important. This could be a time slot once a week where you focus on your development, planning or reflection. Or it could be a hobby that you want to pursue to give you some time out. Either way, giving your brain a break is a great way to keep yourself on track.

     5. Talk about it

    Finally, talking about how you feel can work wonders. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean that the niggly feeling is true, and it doesn’t mean that you should stop what you’re doing.  Instead by sharing how you feel with friends and colleagues you might be surprised at how many people are in the same place.

    BONUS TIP – For those of you that love a bit of bed time reading – try this book…The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.  Let me know what you think.

     

    I’d love to learn your tips for dealing with your feelings of self doubt – let me know by leaving a comment.