Leadership

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    5 ways to combat that feeling of self doubt

    Ever had that feeling of doubt that just pops into your mind when you need to think most clearly?

    Or that niggly voice that keeps whispering that you’re not good enough, or that you really don’t know what your doing?

    Ever felt that getting to where you are today was a total fluke and that you’re really not sure how it happened at all – even though you can talk through your entire journey?

    If so, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve probably all been there at some point or another and although it might not be something that we openly talk about in public it’s definitely happening behind the scenes.

    Even Maya Angelou said – “I have written eleven books, but each time I think,
    ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’

     

    So what do you do if you’re feeling self doubt?

    1. Keep a diary

    It’s easy to forget all the great stuff that you do, especially if you’re in the habit of finishing one thing and just going onto the next – so have a go at keeping a diary. It’s a great way to reflect on all the things that you did great and what went well in a particular project or activity. It’s also a nice way of blowing your own trumpet – especially if blowing your own trumpet doesn’t come naturally to you.

     2. Try not to compare yourself to others

    This is often easier said than done especially in todays world of social media. It’s not hard to get caught up in thinking that everyone else is doing better than you. Unfortunately this is a habit that needs practice to break, but one of the best ways to do this is to genuinely wish others well, and go back to focus on what you’re doing. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes anyway, and comparing yourself to them is doing no-one any favours. So keep working on your own journey.

     3. Surround yourself with cheerleaders

    The people you hang around with are so important, so make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people. The cheerleaders of the world. The people who really do want to see you succeed and do well. Yes we all have friends (or family) that are negative so don’t cut them out completely, just don’t see them when you need a pep talk.

    4. Get some me time

    Time for you is so important. This could be a time slot once a week where you focus on your development, planning or reflection. Or it could be a hobby that you want to pursue to give you some time out. Either way, giving your brain a break is a great way to keep yourself on track.

     5. Talk about it

    Finally, talking about how you feel can work wonders. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean that the niggly feeling is true, and it doesn’t mean that you should stop what you’re doing.  Instead by sharing how you feel with friends and colleagues you might be surprised at how many people are in the same place.

    BONUS TIP – For those of you that love a bit of bed time reading – try this book…The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.  Let me know what you think.

     

    I’d love to learn your tips for dealing with your feelings of self doubt – let me know by leaving a comment.

  • Blog

    5 ways to help you really switch off

    This week I got asked this question:

    “Barbara, I lead a team of 12 people and my biggest problem is that I struggle to switch off. I regularly check my emails at home, and take calls at the weekend, and my phone is never really far from reach.  Any tips?”

    This is such a great question and one that  so many people struggle with, especially as it’s just so easy to be really accessible.

    The problem is that if we don’t switch off from time to time, we don’t give our brains the chance to have a breather, and before long it can leave us feeling stressed, exhausted and with no balance in our lives at all.

    Saying that, it can be easier said than done especially if you’ve got into the habit of being available for your team, and working on your emails in your own time.

    So, if this is a problem for you, here are my tips for getting some much needed breathing space.

    1. Re-educate your team

    Rather than just going off line explain to your team that you won’t be available at certain times, and what they should do instead. If you have to have someone available around the clock consider taking turns to be on call with another member of your team.

     2. Be disciplined

    Decide when you’re going to allow yourself to check your emails outside office hours, and when you’re not…and stick to it. This is going to be tricky, and you may find yourself slipping from time to time. If that happens, remind yourself and start over.

     3. Share your plans with your friends and family

    Tell those around you what you’re trying to do and ask them to help you out by telling you to stop checking your phone or turning your lap top on. It’ll serve as a good reminder if you’re hearing it from other people.

     4. Keep your phone away from your bed

    By making your bedroom a gadget free zone you won’t be tempted to reach for your phone before you close your eyes or the second you wake up. This’ll also help you feel relaxed and get a good nights sleep as well.

     5. Get your team involved

    It’s not uncommon for everyone in the team /company to have the same habits where phones are concerned, and you might also have had meetings with phones buzzing on the table. If this is the case think about having a phone free zone where phones have to be put away, or even switched off so you can all focus on what needs to be done at that time without any distractions.

    Bonus Tip – Have a look at the e-mails that you’re answering and the calls you’re taking at home, and ask yourself whether they need your attention straight away, or whether you’re just dealing with them out of habit? If they’re not urgent, give yourself permission to deal with it the next day, and get the down time you really need.

     

    I’d love to hear your ideas for switching off. Let me know by leaving a comment.