Why do I still feel like an imposter in a role I’ve clearly earned?
Feeling like an imposter in your role, even though you know, rationally, that you’ve absolutely earned your stripes, is a strange feeling. You know you’ve done the work and that you deserve your role, but you still find yourself feeling like any minute you’re going to get a tap on the shoulder with someone saying:
“We’ve found you out, you need to leave”
Firstly, if you can relate, and before I go any further I want to say you’re definitely not alone.
I have conversations like this every week, it’s not a YOU problem, it’s a HUMAN condition, and it’s really really common.
If you Googled famous people with imposter syndrome you’d be surprised at the names that come up. You’ll find people like: Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, and even Albert Einstein, so you’re in very good company indeed.
That said, it can still feel awful and if you’re not careful can cause you to play smaller, hide or stay quiet, which can then start to really impact the results that you get.
Why do you have imposter syndrome?
The best question I had about imposter syndrome was…why is it even a thing? So, let me tell you what’s going on behind the scenes, and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you not being good enough.
Your subconscious mind’s primary objective is to keep you safe, and by safe I mean alive (the bar is quite low) and it does this by keeping you in the familiar or what we commonly call our comfort zone. These are things that you’ve done before and survived before…so when you step outside of this and start to do something new it doesn’t know that it can keep you safe, so it sends you messages that are tailor made for you, in an attempt to bring you back to safety.
So, the thing is, you’re not feeling like an imposter because you’re really a fraud, or because you’re not good enough, but because you’ve grown. It’s the equivalent of growing out of your school shoes when you were a kid. Your feet didn’t hurt because your shoes were bad, but because you’d outgrown them.
So why are you feeling like an imposter?
Because your subconscious mind hasn’t caught up with the fact that you’ve grown yet. You haven’t ACCLIMATISED to your new level, so you’re getting all sorts of feelings and thoughts like:
“I’m going to fail”
“Who am I to be doing this job”
“I’d rather go back to my old job as I like that better”
And so on.
It’s not actually a syndrome at all, but just a sign that you’ve just grown and haven’t acclimatised to your new level.
It’s the equivalent of wading into the sea and feeling cold, until it starts to feel like normal temperature. You just need to make your new level your new normal.
So…now that you know that…what how do you do it?
What can you do about it?
1. Remember that just because you’re thinking it doesn’t mean it’s true
This takes a bit of practice, but whenever you notice that you’re feeling like an imposter just observe that it’s happening. For example say to yourself ‘Ah I’m feeling like an imposter again, that’s interesting.’
There’s no judgement there, no confirmation that it’s true…just an observation. By doing this it takes its power away and you start to distance yourself from the feeling.
Here’s the good part…because it’s essentially just a thought (even if it comes with a feeling) you can change your mind. You might not think you can, but it’s true. So instead of trying to convince yourself that you’re NOT an imposter…come up with something a bit easier to believe. Something like…’I know I feel like an imposter today, but I’m just learning right now and that’s OK’ Even if you’ve been in your role for sometime, you’re allowed to still be learning, and it’s a good way to give yourself some grace.
2. Gather your evidence of why it’s not true
This is a good exercise to do as our brain loves evidence…so get yourself a notebook and pen and write down all the things you’ve done that means you deserve to be in this role. Go right back to all the positions you’ve had, the qualifications you’ve got, the experience you’ve got, the projects you’ve worked on. Get it all down and then read it back to yourself, this is proof that you’re not an imposter at all. You’ve earned your seat at the table.
Then another nice exercise to do every day is start to look for evidence as you go about your day that you’re doing a good job. No matter how small you think it is, write it down. This will train your brain to look for the reasons you’re not an imposter at all.
3. Decide how you’d behave if you didn’t feel like an imposter
Get yourself a notebook and pen and decide how you’d behave and show up if you didn’t feel this way. How would you show up in meetings? Would you talk more? Would you make more eye contact? Sit up straighter? Ask more questions? Share your opinion more? Finish work at a certain time? Have better boundaries? Show up for your team in a different way?
Decide all of it, and then start acting as if.
There’s good science behind this, by the way, it’s not just positive thinking. We tend to assume we have to feel like the person before we can act like them. It’s actually the other way round. Psychologists who study how people grow into bigger roles have found we don’t think our way into a new identity, we act our way in, and the feeling catches up afterwards. Every time you show up as the person who isn’t an imposter, and it goes fine, it becomes real evidence your brain can use. So tip three feeds tip two.
So, things to remember:
1. Just because you’re thinking and feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean it’s true
2. It’s actually a sign that you’ve grown and you just need to acclimatise to your new level.
3. Start to look for evidence that you deserve to be where you are as you go about your day.
Additional resources
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