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    5 ways to combat that feeling of self doubt

    Ever had that feeling of doubt that just pops into your mind when you need to think most clearly?

    Or that niggly voice that keeps whispering that you’re not good enough, or that you really don’t know what your doing?

    Ever felt that getting to where you are today was a total fluke and that you’re really not sure how it happened at all – even though you can talk through your entire journey?

    If so, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve probably all been there at some point or another and although it might not be something that we openly talk about in public it’s definitely happening behind the scenes.

    Even Maya Angelou said – “I have written eleven books, but each time I think,
    ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’

     

    So what do you do if you’re feeling self doubt?

    1. Keep a diary

    It’s easy to forget all the great stuff that you do, especially if you’re in the habit of finishing one thing and just going onto the next – so have a go at keeping a diary. It’s a great way to reflect on all the things that you did great and what went well in a particular project or activity. It’s also a nice way of blowing your own trumpet – especially if blowing your own trumpet doesn’t come naturally to you.

     2. Try not to compare yourself to others

    This is often easier said than done especially in todays world of social media. It’s not hard to get caught up in thinking that everyone else is doing better than you. Unfortunately this is a habit that needs practice to break, but one of the best ways to do this is to genuinely wish others well, and go back to focus on what you’re doing. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes anyway, and comparing yourself to them is doing no-one any favours. So keep working on your own journey.

     3. Surround yourself with cheerleaders

    The people you hang around with are so important, so make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people. The cheerleaders of the world. The people who really do want to see you succeed and do well. Yes we all have friends (or family) that are negative so don’t cut them out completely, just don’t see them when you need a pep talk.

    4. Get some me time

    Time for you is so important. This could be a time slot once a week where you focus on your development, planning or reflection. Or it could be a hobby that you want to pursue to give you some time out. Either way, giving your brain a break is a great way to keep yourself on track.

     5. Talk about it

    Finally, talking about how you feel can work wonders. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean that the niggly feeling is true, and it doesn’t mean that you should stop what you’re doing.  Instead by sharing how you feel with friends and colleagues you might be surprised at how many people are in the same place.

    BONUS TIP – For those of you that love a bit of bed time reading – try this book…The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.  Let me know what you think.

     

    I’d love to learn your tips for dealing with your feelings of self doubt – let me know by leaving a comment.

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    6 reasons why you keep failing at your goals

    I am very goal orientated, and I get a real kick out of deciding upon what I want to achieve in the New Year. I then absolutely love crossing things off when I have completed them.  This list is created around the end of the year, and I refer back to it at regular intervals so that I can use it as a measuring stick for my progress.

    Now, up until a couple of years ago this list was just that. A list. The year at the top of the page and then a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish. It will come to you as no surprise that some of the things on this list were then ‘carried over’ to the next year, and the next, and the next. In fact, I had one thing on my list that has been there for several years!!

    As a coach I know only too well how to make goals but you know how it is, often it’s not the easiest thing to do to follow your own teaching…but then one year I did, and I achieved so much more. So, if you can relate to this and you are suffering from goal carry over, here are my top 6 reasons why you are failing at your goals.

     1. You’re not specific enough

    I was just writing the end goal on my list, without any thought on what I needed to do to get there.  Be completely specific as to what success looks like and the steps you need to take to get there.

    2. You need a  deadline

    Deadline’s are great, and just because you’ve made it yourself doesn’t mean you’re allowed to miss it. You are the most important person in your world, so your deadlines should be just as important as any that are imposed by anyone else.

    3. You forget about them

    It’s no good making some goals and then stuffing them in a drawer until the next new year. Don’t just leave them up to chance, put them where you can keep referring back to them throughout the year.

    4. You need new habits

    Some of your goals may require recurring actions. For example if you want to get fit, you’re going need to work out regularly. If you want to write a book, you’re going to need to write regularly. So, recognise that this is what it takes and that it’ll take about 30 days to create that habit. Build in that time each day to not only cement the habit, but to get to your goal.

    5. They’re too big

    Sometimes big goals can just seem, well too big. Split them up into smaller milestones and use these to work towards – don’t forget to give yourself a treat when you reach them.

    6. You need to share them

    I know you may want to keep them to yourself, but by telling someone about what you are working towards and giving them permission to ask you how you’re getting on, it’ll really spur you on.

     

    So from now on my ‘list’ looks very different to what it once did, and I’m even more excited about achieving them and not having goals being carried over. I’d love to hear your thoughts and what goals you’ve set for yourself. Please feel free to share.